Allioli is not mayonnaise with garlic

Not real allioli

The Caterer from Hell strikes again, this time attempting to “cook” allioli.

Except they basically mashed industrial mayonnaise with garlic, and called it aioli, and they still went and slept at night instead of turning in bed every half an hour, haunted by the terrible horrors they had awakened.

Ingredients aside, the texture looks wrong, with all those lumps. It looks off. And it didn’t smell of garlic at all. Good allioli packs such a punch you can smell it from a distance.

  • Grossness level: 7/10. Why do they keep pretending they know what they are doing?
  • Offense amount: 8/10. It has mayonnaise. An AMERICAN mayonnaise. There’s nothing Spanish about this.
  • Would I give it a go? NO!!!!!!!!! I’d rather not get food poisoning, thank you very much.

The “Spanish omelette” that looked like a cheese tower

Deceptive "Spanish omelette"

A Certain Caterer (let’s leave the criminals unnamed) just does not get Spanish food, but insists in trying, often with terrible results.

I mean, just look at that.

I initially thought this was cheese. Like maybe red cheddar mixed with manchego? But why would they be displayed like this?, I wondered…

Well, because they are not cheese, but a “Spanish omelette”.

Except they seem to have missed the memo that said “omelettes are a dish of beaten eggs”. So there are just a few streaks of egg scattered around, instead of warmly hugging the potatoes in a snuggly embrace.

And the potatoes look desperately uncooked, more like they tried to bake them, so they could get a bunch of portions with just one tray, but gave up half way because it was taking too much time and they were late for the delivery, so they just took them out and served them raw. Who is going to notice, right?

And that’s how you end with this abomination đŸ˜±

  • Grossness level: 8/10. This is extremely disgusting.
  • Offense amount: High. You’re insulting such a Spanish staple with this subpar attempt.
  • Would I give it a go? NO. FREAKING. WAY. đŸ€

Chickpea omelette

This morning, I was wondering what to have for breakfast when I remembered I had a bunch of chickpeas leftover from yesterday’s dish: rice with Swiss chard. And I had an idea: why not have a chickpea omelette?

Like that dish, this is also a very economical dish, and quite easy to make. The hardest skill required is to know how to flip the omelette without breaking it, so I wrote a post explaining how to do that. Continue reading “Chickpea omelette”